Who’s There?

I’m starting to feel like I should change the name of this blog from Conquering New York to Conquering the New York Apartment, considering the majority of my posts are about this damn apartment. Sadly this one is as well.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that someone is coming into my apartment while I’m gone during the day. Granted I don’t think they come everyday but them coming even once is far more than one too many. It’s a little crazy how all this came together, or at least how I put it together. And I have felt a little crazy realizing this might be what’s going on.

First, let me give you some background on how things are laid out in my apartment. When I lived in Dallas, the apartment keeps an extra set of keys to your unit which is used by the maintenance person so when you’re not home they can do repairs as needed, for which they have to leave a letter noting they’ve been in your home. It’s nice because sh*t gets done in a timely manner or as soon as possible. On the flip side it can be a bit alarming for a single female because (as seen in various news reports) they also sometimes come in your apartment, take (or fondle) your personals or in really crazy situations install cameras to watch you. With this in mind and having been a child of the 80’s who loves The Goonies, I would keep things in certain places and positions so I could tell if someone had been in my house. This is a habit that has stuck with me- Everything has its place in my apartment and if it’s moved, and not by me, I know.

A few weeks ago (at least it’s felt like a few weeks ago, it may have been two weeks ago), I came home and started to vacuum the house. The electrical outlet is next to a low-standing shelf and slightly behind the side table. It’s really the only accessible outlet in the living room (meaning the only one not dominantly being occupied) that I can use to plug in the vacuum. This day as I was vacuuming by the couch, I pushed the side table in front of the shelf before pushing it to the other side and cleaning in front of the shelf then moving into the hallway and bedroom. Once I was done, I came back into the living room returned the side table back to its spot and noticed two figurines were out of place. I thought, perhaps I bumped them when I moved the table or while I was vacuuming, but I would remember that. Maybe I hit them- but I knew I didn’t. I didn’t move them and took a shower while still trying to figure out how they got out of their place. I felt a little bit like Anne Wilkes noticing her ceramic penguin had been moved. Only she knew how and who, I didn’t. When I got out of the shower I moved it back and chalked the whole thing up to my fault.

Thursday night I got home after a very long day, placed my two Target bags on the counter and commenced to my finally home for the night routine. I went back into the kitchen to put away my groceries when I started to smell something. I immediately looked at the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a few days and figured I needed to wash them ASAP because the smell was clearly coming from them. Once I was done clearing everything, I noticed something else- a pile of white powder on the counter. I dipped my finger in it, bringing my finger closer to my eyes (and nose) when I realized it was Parmesan Cheese. WTH?!?! I hate Parmesan Cheese and definitely don’t keep that stinky crap in my house- so how the hell did it get there?? My mind quickly remembered the moved figurines from before; I thought someone had been in my house. Son. Of. A. B*tch!!!

Who could it be? How are they getting in? If they’re not stealing anything, what the hell are they doing here- eating pizza and watching TV? How have they been so careful as to leave almost everything exactly as I left it 13 hours ago? I thought of The Musician. Despite my asking for my keys repeatedly (through email because I’ve erased everything else), he hasn’t (or won’t) return them…but why not? Is he coming in my house? And if so, why? Why wouldn’t he be at the new girl’s apartment? It couldn’t be him, I thought, but then again I have overestimated him before, so how could I give him the benefit of the doubt now? It could be the super. After all he is the one who originally gave me my keys, so who’s to say he didn’t keep an extra pair- but why? And why all the sudden now? Plus wouldn’t someone notice? I thought to ask neighbor across the hall if he had seen anyone coming in and out of my house, but then I remembered in this building (probably neighborhood) no one sees or knows anything, so that would be pointless. Yes, it’s like a scene from Law & Order where nobody knows who shot the little girl riding her bike across the street in the park.

I texted my siblings as I tried to logically think this out. Am I going crazy? Am I having a Secret Window or Sixth Sense moment where I actually did these things but have absolutely no recollection of it? Of course this thought was immediately dismissed by my brother who kept reiterating to not be surprised by things people do, which do or don’t make sense. The plan now was to change my locks…but truth be told I would like to get some kind of camera first because frankly I want -need- to know who this person is. At this point I don’t even care why, I just want to know who. Who the f*k is coming in my house..who!?!

First, the assh*le neighbors then the drain in the tub, now somebody’s actually in the house. Wow! What’s next apartment 2F, what’s next????

P.S.- Thanks to everyone who continued to view, read and like my blog despite my very long hiatus. Your support is appreciated and I’ll try not to go M.I.A again.  🙂